I’ve always been viewed as more of a Clutter Whisperer, than a Clutter
Buster. I don’t advocate the “tough love” approaches that make for
entertaining TV—or that people hear from genuinely well meaning friends, family,
and even from inside their own heads: “Don’t think, don’t hesitate, get rid of
that junk! Come on….it’s time to move on! What good is that stuff doing
you?! Throw it all away!”
People who are shamed into throwing things away may comply in the moment,
but they will feel sick to their stomach the entire time, and will quickly
refill their barren spaces, ending up back right where they started. Cavalierly
tossing things from your home, office or schedule (due to shame or pressure)
never provides a lasting solution. And, if you are a well-meaning friend or
family member who has been pressuring a loved one to clean up their act…but to
no avail…consider the following common MYTHS about clutter:
Myth #1: Clutter is just a bunch of junk you should easily be able
to toss. Truth: Clutter represents an attachment to something you
are struggling to release: an old belief system, obsolete need, or unexpressed
part of you that needs to be discovered.
Myth #2: Getting rid of clutter will get you organized Truth: Decluttering will not create a system….it will help
you manage change. Releasing the obsolete will get you unstuck—by opening
up space for something new. It creates the energy, space to think, and
time to figure out what’s next.
Myth #3: Clutter is always messy Truth: Clutter is what is obsolete, the objects, things
and habits that no longer serve you—and it doesn’t have to be disorganized. A
perfectly arranged closet filled with clothes you never wear is clutter.
So is a perfectly organized day filled with activities that no longer fuel
you.
The key is to understand your attachment to the clutter before releasing
it—so that you can fulfill the need in a more effective way—or determine that
you no longer have that need at all.
What about you…? What experiences do you have either pressuring
others or being pushed to get rid of things? Has it worked? What do
you think of considering clutter a “point of entry”—an opportunity to gain
insight into an attachment you are struggling to release? When have you
been able to release clutter for good?
Very fine advice. Organization and de-cluttering are my strong suits, but I married a man who accumulates objects of interest to him - hundreds upon hundreds of items. He is also a genius capable of remembering where everything is with absolutely no need for organization. I've learned to live with pockets of what I consider chaos as we gradually learn to bring things into a system we can both live with. He appreciates very much that I have respected his interests and I appreciate how he has incrementally learned to appreciate my sense of order and beauty, and to maintain it. After three years we have only two spaces left in our home which I don't feel are under control yet - though even as they are they have vastly improved in that time.
Very fine advice. Organization and de-cluttering are my strong suits, but I married a man who accumulates objects of interest to him - hundreds upon hundreds of items. He is also a genius capable of remembering where everything is with absolutely no need for organization. I've learned to live with pockets of what I consider chaos as we gradually learn to bring things into a system we can both live with. He appreciates very much that I have respected his interests and I appreciate how he has incrementally learned to appreciate my sense of order and beauty, and to maintain it. After three years we have only two spaces left in our home which I don't feel are under control yet - though even as they are they have vastly improved in that time.
Very fine advice. Organization and de-cluttering are my strong suits, but I married a man who accumulates objects of interest to him - hundreds upon hundreds of items. He is also a genius capable of remembering where everything is with absolutely no need for organization. I've learned to live with pockets of what I consider chaos as we gradually learn to bring things into a system we can both live with. He appreciates very much that I have respected his interests and I appreciate how he has incrementally learned to appreciate my sense of order and beauty, and to maintain it. After three years we have only two spaces left in our home which I don't feel are under control yet - though even as they are they have vastly improved in that time.
Defining "obsolete" would be a great start for me! What attachments do I have? Good question. I have read your book and haven't gotten past the "analyze" stage. I am a homeschooling mother of 3. Only one child is school age this year. I LOVE being a Mom and being at home but seem to not be able to keep the house the way my husband wants it. I have a love for organization and when I have the TIME I am able to make great systems for stuff. The problem is these systems are behind closed doors and unappreciated AND the even bigger problem is that I have a husband and 3 children that don't understand my system or don't seem to care to follow through with "everything in it's place". I have come a LONG way from 3 years ago but I do feel the pressure from my minimalist husband. I may have a messy area but I know where most everything is. It makes for many disagreements...he wants what LOOKS pretty on the outside (doesn't care about what is behind closed doors or in drawers) and I want to find what I want and don't care what it looks like as much as I do not want to spend a day searching for the thing that has been shoved somewhere out of site. Makes for frustration for everyone. IS there a happy medium where I can be me and he can be him but we can get along. I know I am not the only one in this position. Thanks a bunch. Margaret from Northfield, MA
I have a client who is very isolated and virtually housebound.Very few friends/family. She spends small amounts of money on numerous charities and through this receives lots of 'junk' mail in addition to the usual. She looks forward to the post dropping through her door each day- it is almost as if receiving mail equates to being told 'You exist/ you are valued/you matter.' The problem is that she finds it difficult to sort through and ditch mail as it stacks up and can't discriminate between personal mail/bills etc and this 'junk.'
Sensitivity is key. Any ideas? I'm sure if she got out more and met REAL people this would lessen.Steph UK
Thank you for this. My clutter isn't too bad these days -- I declutter regularly -- but I am struggling to lighten the load further. I think my struggle is letting go of things that belong to the life I dream of, not the life I have.
I have all these things that would fit perfectly into the spacious farmhouse in the country that I will probably never own. Instead I rent a tiny cabin, and I'm job-hunting so I need to be ready to move cross-country and live wherever, probably a small apartment. I also want a simpler life that involves less cleaning and visual clutter, so I want to release those things that don't serve my reality.
I understand how letting go of clutter is opening space for something new however there are exceptions to ever rule. Just as an organized closet full of clothes you never use is clutter, a basement full of discarded or useless items can be a treasure trove for the creative person who turns the oft overlooked silver lining of these items into useful or artistic creations, keeping them out of landfills.
